I turned eighteen in January, and I felt like right afterwards I started reading things that said, “Now that you’re an adult, you must be stressed about finding your future spouse.”
At first my reaction was something along the lines of, “Psh. What?! I may technically be an adult, but I am still SO young. I’d like to graduate high school, get a job, get my license and at least START college before I even start to date.”
But then I kept reading things, and those things kept suggesting that it was normal to be stressed and concerned.
And honestly, I was so confused, because I wasn’t stressed…. and I was so content and happy about not having a boyfriend, or being engaged. (and still am.)
My life isn’t complicated and isn’t harder than expected, but I keep thinking about how much more complicated it would be if I had to add in an entire person and that entire person’s life to mine. (Where is he going to school? Where does he work?)
So I asked my mom, if maybe I was weird. (in that instance….) My mom suggested that, while I shouldn’t be stressed, thinking about a future husband wouldn’t hurt.
I know some girls make lists of things they want their husbands to live up too, but that never seemed right to me. I started a mental list, but after “godly” and “conservative” I’m not sure what else really matters.
It would be nice if he was creative, or a bookworm, or liked the same movies and TV shows as me. But I really don’t think I would NOT marry someone because they don’t have a library, or just because they don’t see the world as colorfully as I do.
I would appreciate it he was sarcastic, and had a sense of humor, but again, it isn’t necessary.
And, even if I made a list of things I wanted, if I met a guy and he didn’t have a sense of humor, or couldn’t actually make it through a book, and if I was head over heels in love, it wouldn’t matter that much. I don’t think. 😉
I know a lot of girls bemoan the fact that they are single, and they long for a husband, or long to know their future husband now. And I kinda get that.
I mean, if I am going to fall in love and get married and have kids, I want to do that now so I have as long as possible with the person I love….
But since I’m not ready, and it isn’t going to happen– there are advantages!
Like I said I don’t have to factor in an entire person into my life. If I decide to travel, I don’t have to think about not traveling because I’d be away from the special someone. If I decide to go away to college, or move out, I don’t have to consult him and factor him into my life, but my favorite reason (though I struggle with it) is being single makes me have a very special relationship with God.
I’m not married right now, so right now, it is just me and God. This is a great time to get to know Him better, to learn more about Him, to love Him more.
If I got married?
That would all change. (as it should.) But it wouldn’t be God and I as much as God and I and That Guy. (who, I’m sure, if he exists, will have a name.) And while I’m sure that is great too… I kind of feel like part of the job of a wife is to challenge her husband to grow closer to God, and if I don’t get close to God now, in this time of being single, am I going to be where I am supposed to be, when I get married?