How to NOT do a book review

The other day I was on the Barnes and Noble website looking at books. When I look at books by authors I’ve never read before, I usually try to read the beginning on the website, it it’s available. Then I read some of the reviews that people have posted on the website. Not saying that I trust people, but I still read their reviews.

So now I’m going to talk about how NOT to do a book review….

Don’t give the book one star and have your whole “review” be complaining about other people’s book review. If you are going to write a “review” about the book complaining about the other reviews, give it five stars, because when you choose the stars to do, you’re rating the book NOT the people who wrote the reviews. It’s isn’t the author’s fault people were annoying you.

You don’t write your “review” complaining about how other people’s reviews were dumb or annoying because they were just giving away spoilers or bragging about how they got the book for free. I pretty sure when you get a book for free from people to do a review on it, you’re supposed to mention that your got the book for free from them. Then, even if you want to mention that other people weren’t doing it right, at least do a review… or it makes you kind of a hypocrite… right? 🙂

Also, when writing a book review, don’t put the title as, “She Dies At The End”. (I would say face-palm, but it just doesn’t seem to be enough for what I’m feeling. It’s more like take that person’s face and slam it into my desk, kind of feeling) So, maybe people would want to know that before reading the book. Somehow, I feel like it would annoy more people that make them happy. Probably if the author wrote an entire book and killed the main character at the end… I dunno…. maybe it was supposed to be A SURPRISE!

Maybe the main character didn’t actually die. Maybe the person who wrote the review was trying to funny, or annoying, or maybe they didn’t actually understand what’s going on. The book was the first in a trilogy, so unless it was one of those trilogy’s that aren’t about the same people, she’d have to be alive.

Besides the fact I’m almost a 100% sure it was written in first person past tense. Which, any grammar Nazi and writer should know, it’s logically impossible to kill the main character when written in first person past tense. And if I ever get the book, and if the main character does die, and it IS written in first person past tense, that’s REALLY dumb.

So, maybe people don’t like big surprises like having the main character die… if it is THAT important to you, get the book and read the ending first (which is TOTALLY wrong, I’m just saying) or e-mail the author, explain how you feel the need to know any major plot twists and/or spoilers (which is also wrong, but I like being surprised. Even if the surprise is sad, I usually end up smiling because they surprised me…) The author may not e-mail you back, depending. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t.

Now, I’m not saying I write the BEST book reviews, but I think I am improving, or at least am better from when I wrote my first book review. I try not to give away any major plot twists (like if the main character dies), and as an added bonus, I try to only give book reviews to books I like. (Which is fairly easy, because I like most books).

That’s my rant of how to NOT do a book review. No spoilers, be honest, and don’t “rate” the book review (that isn’t even a review) on how other people didn’t do it right.

Have a good day! 😀

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3 Comments

Filed under Book Review

3 responses to “How to NOT do a book review

  1. I write book reviews on my blog. I hate it when people spoil the book so I make sure mine are spoiler free. I mean the purpose of a review is the see if this is something you’d like to read not get a condensed version of it with all the twists spoiled. 😛

    Stori Tori’s Blog

    • Yup! For some things, you’ll have to give away a spoiler or two just because that is what happens at the beginning and propels the story forward, but other times it is completely unnecessary. 🙂